I recently attended a 1 day Jack Canfield seminar. Jack Canfield is the author of countless books (including the Chicken Soup for the Soul series) but my favorite book he has written is ‘The Success Principles’. Reading and doing all the exercises from that book is like a crash course MBA. When he came to Seattle, my entire Mastermind Business Group signed up for a table and spent a full day learning from Jack. He is an excellent speaker – humble, enigmatic and thought-provoking all in one – so spending from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. in a hotel conference room was not a hardship.
The first lesson he drilled into our heads was that we must take 100% responsibility for our lives. This means that when something goes wrong, instead of immediately blaming (“It’s Mary’s fault! If she had just finished writing up the description for Monkey Love on Friday, we could have had that fragrance up in time for the weekend!”), we should stop, take a deep breath and ask “What was my part in this? How could I have changed things?“
Jack taught us the following formula:
where E is Event, R is Response and O is Outcome.
Simply put, every outcome we have in our life can be controlled by our response to the initial event.
Event: You present your products to a store, only to be turned down.
Response: You say “Thanks” and walk away.
Outcome: You have no wholesale account.
Event: You present your products to a store, only to be turned down.
Response: You say “Thank you. Under what circumstances would you consider adding my line?”
Outcome: The manager tells you “Well, you don’t have any fragrances I like. If you had fragrances I liked, I’d add the line.” You rework your fragrances and add an account.
Quoting directly from Jack Canfield:
The truth is…when confronted with a negative event, successful people look for ways to transform that negative into an opportunity for achievement and greater success.
They simply respond differently.
Think about almost every negative thing in your life. What is your part in the situation? How can you change your internal dialog to constantly say “I accept responsibility for this situation. What action steps can I take now to prevent this same outcome in the future?” After all, don’t we all want to lead lives of distinction with boundless joy, unbridled optimism and endless resources? Taking responsibility and recognizing that we can change each and every situation is the first step.
Love that post. Mr. Canfield is amazing!
see, it’s that “attention to detail” issue from way back that teachers always talked about. not good when you are formulating.
i have developed a bad habit; skimming reading material due to increased work load. this also is something which we cannot afford to do!
i will definitely do the other coconut oil; thank you very much for your input. XOXXO!!!
I’ll google him – thanks for the tip!
Lucky you! I’ll have to go back into your archives to find it because I don’t think I heard it at the time …
Memorize this “Under what circumstances would you XYZ” and use it whenever you can. You will be SHOCKED at how many ‘No’s you can turn into ‘Yes’s just by asking that simple question.
I would use regular coconut oil instead of fractionated. That’s what I used in the recipe (solid at room temp 76 degree coconut oil) and it definitely doesn’t seem to have trouble. So, try that and let me know what you think.
You are going to really love the book – it’s work (I won’t lie) but it’s all about becoming a person of integrity that is accountable to themselves and the people around them. And, yes, no more victim mentality! =)
Very nice summary! I love this book, what fun to be able to invest time like this, and with your MM partners too — even better! I interviewed Jack on my radio show right after the book came out. It was such a fun session — like an hour-long individual consultation with him. I listen to the show regularly and re-read chapters from the book too. Congratulations on going and benefiting from such a great event. Very inspiring!
Oh My Gosh! How simple is that to turn a negative into a positive by asking HOW!
Thank you.
Michelle in NV
Anne-Marie, I need to ask a technical question. Since in the last post you mentioned all kinds of body whips, I thought it might be a good time to ask but time sensitive in nature.
I am selling a good quantity of the whipped shea frosting/parfait or whatever you want to name it. But I am concerned about shipping in hot climates. It melts and deflates like a bad souffle. Can you suggest something we might add to the recipe of fractionated coconut oil of 40% to 60% shea? Would maybe cocoa butter stiffen it a bit? Or, do you suggest maybe not making and selling this product out of Houston, TX and maybe making a solid instead? I neeeed your imput!!!!! thank you in advance. my customers love the stuff but I don’t want to always be worrying about it’s integrity in transit.
i really like the simple e r o. easy to remember and then to purpose to implement.
no more victim mentality!
by the way, i finally got to the library, reserved a copy and just picked up today The Success Principles! I only found out recently who the author is. Really looking forward to reading!
Thank you for your notes of wisdom AM! So true…
Thanks Anne-Marie!
Couple week ago we went to Indiana for Service Leadership program and visited Paul Eastridge from the Eastridge Company. He is a very interesting person and tought us a lot. We all can learn something every day, but the thing is, not a lot of people can remember it. 🙂
My goal is to read it once yearly. So far, I’m mid-way through this year’s read …
Thanks for sharing. I have his book, I think it’s time for me to re-read it. 🙂