The kids and I love pomegranates (love, love, love them!). I especially love that unpeeling one will take us at least 30 minutes and is tons of interaction. It’s totally worth the mess and clean-up. Recently, I’ve gotten three pomegranates, in a row, over a couple weeks that were moldy when we cut into them. The little red fruit seeds were all brown and not edible.
It made me think about people and how we live our lives. Is your life all shiny and pretty on the outside but lacking on the inside? When is the last time you asked yourself if you were on the path you wanted to be on?
We have all had the experience of hearing that a couple we know has split up and been shocked that their picture perfect marriage wasn’t what it seemed. Or found out that a friend that seemingly had it all together with the perfect house, car and lavish vacations, was living a life solely built on credit.
One of the core themes for my year is: Authentic.
That means living my life so that my inner core matches what I’m saying, what I’m doing and how I’m projecting my work, my life, my business and our family life. That means that I don’t want my life to look just shiny on the outside. I want to wake up with joy and greet the day with vigor. I want my life to look and feel just like my Facebook and Instagram pages look. [side note: I’ve written about this concept before (here, here and here and here)]
To be clear, my life does look like all those photos and quotes I post on the random social media outlets; and, let’s get totally honest here, does anyone really want to see the diaper-changing minutiae of life with two toddlers? Shiny, happy pictures are way more fun! #bestfootforward But there are always moments in my life when I’m not as proud, or excited, or vulnerable as I could be – even if it’s just with friends. So, this is my year of getting more vulnerable and making more authentic connections. I’m moving towards character, strength and clarity by ensuring my outer life and my inner life are in full agreement.
I mentioned in my Goals Post for the year that I would be redoing The Desire Map. Like layers of an onion, there is always more to learn, more to delve into and more to understand. I didn’t mention that I’d be going on a retreat with my Mastermind Group to do that. We flew 4 hours to a tiny fishing village south of the border and dedicated ourselves to 3.5 days of hiking, swimming, reading, meditation and desire mapping. I was thrilled with the outcome; I came home focused, with my year much more dialed in, and a clarity about how I want to feel – not just the external goals I need to/want to have.
This is the year of authenticity – and no more moldy pomegranates!
Anne-Marie,
This post couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. Everything you wrote is exactly how I feel and how I also wish my life to reflect.
You have such great gifts & are truly an inspiration to us all!
Thank you for this and for so much more xx <3
Much love to you & your family 🙂
Tammi
Isn’t that interesting that we’re feeling the same way? Maybe it’s a universal thing! =) Either way, thank you for reading, for listening and for sharing. It’s nice to have other people to take the journey with.
Hi Anne Marie ,
I have little doubt that maybe you can help me because I have two children and are in the world of jabones.Yo particularly have a 5 year old and a baby on the way and I have many doubts about continuing to work soap in my house the issue of the lye and fear at some point can mesclar soap with milk or things of the new baby , I would like your advice and guidance on whether it is feasible to continue making soaps in the same house where the newborn baby will be ,,, ,, as you did ?, I’ll have to look elsewhere ,,,, ? strong odors of the essences will not hurt ?, excuse me but I need some good advice , I am mama , work and do business soaps by jobby and ……or if someone else in the same situacion can help me….thanks!
Hi Carolyn,
Congratulations on growing your family. How fun! I know how it is to try to keep it all together with little ones in the house.
Yes, you are correct in being concerned about the lye and for that matter, all the dangerous chemicals in your house. Practice safe chemical storage: childsafe locks, up in high cabinets, jars that have childproof caps for lye and all chemicals in your house.
When you go to make soap, make sure your 5 year old is at school and your baby is napping in another room, be sure to mix your lye in a well ventilated area and while pregnant, talk to your OB about how they feel about essential oils. Mine was okay with them so long as I was wearing gloves but you’ll want to check with your OB to be on the safe side.
Soaping with young children at home means you’ll want to set aside at least 60 to 90 minutes for set up and clean up time without them in the room. Freshly made soap looks like frosting and we wouldn’t want your 5 year old to grab a spoon! So, make sure that they’re safely occupied (napping, school, out of the house) before you start your soaping and that you have plenty of time to make sure everything is fully cleaned up before they come back. That goes for pets – especially cats – keep them out of the room when you soap.
Kudos for being so careful and planning ahead. We can never be too careful when it comes to our own safety or the safety of our loved and little ones. =)
Thanks so much for respond, thanks!!!, I will consult the doctor about essential oils, the only thing is that I work 8 am to 5 pm, so when my 5 years old girl is in school I am at work soooo thats the thing, if it worth it to make the sacrifice or I should wait …………
thanks, thanks, for your time, its matter a lot for me.
Ah, that is such a good question – when to push and when to stay and let life flow around you. I can’t answer that for you. Only you can answer that.
However, what I can tell you is that there is never a perfect time to launch a business and, if you wait for the perfect time, you will never start. Even if you worked consistently on your business for only 8 hours a week after your little ones went to sleep (mine go down at 7 and 8), you will find yourself with a framework for a business and the start of a business when you do have more time.
I never recommend anyone just fully launch and quit their jobs or their lives without first ramping up their business to the point of knowing it’s viable so that does mean working weekends and late nights, when you can fit it in and that means making choices about turning down social events, or not watching TV. Ultimately, only you can decide if that’s something you want to do or what your final goal is. We all have the same 24 hours in the day and getting clear on what your long term priorities and dreams are will help you figure out how to best use those 24 hours.
If you haven’t done The Firestarter Sessions by Danielle LaPorte, that book may help you really reach clarity on what to devote your time to at this stage in your life. Only you can answer that question. I’m here to support you on the journey, even if that journey doesn’t involve a lot of soap. =)
Thanks Anne Marie, just to now your advice it is a lot of help a lot, thanks for the soport I will think about it and find what it is the best for me right now and for the kids.
Thanks!Blessings for you!
Ha! And *I* thought this would be a post about the absolute necessity of using preservatives (not anti-oxidants like Vitamin E., REO, and Grapefruit) in lotions!
As someone who has over a decade (cough) and some miles on you, let me offer some other, gentle advice. Try hard not to get so caught up in goal setting, planning, desire maps, inspiration clouds, positive manifesting, blah, blah, that you forget to just LIVE. Take it as it comes, remember things will happen without permission, and look around you RIGHT NOW. It’s nice to plan a garden, and work for it, but smell the roses, too.
I own several versions of the T-shirt awarded for missing the forest in lieu of bonsai – ing the trees. None of them fit well. It will all get done, but maybe not according to schedule. It’s not a fail, it’s lacking omniscience to be able to plan for EVERYTHING.
With much love, jasmine tea, blooming roses, and healthy grubby kids,
~HoneyLady~
Ah yes, less striving, more doing (or, is it more living??). That is definitely one of the things I struggle with and I’m sure one (or both) of my children was put here to help remind me of that.
I like what you’re saying about more spontaneity, or life. There is something hugely appealing of just seeing where the day, or the road, will take you.
PS – How did you know I was planning the garden yesterday?! LOL! =)
Ha! Well, I got my first seed catalog, aka Wish Book, in the mail on Jan. 2. Tis the season.
The other reason I’ve learned about spontaneity the hard way, is that I am one of those people whose Formal Plans have never once come out the way I plotted. Now, either this means Life is a Challenge, or I am a really lousy planner, or both. 😉
My BFF is one of those who plans large and small things, (dinner parties, when to have Child 1, Child 2, Get the Corner Office) and they happen for her *just* as she plans them. {insert look of baffled amazement here} She’s a judge. I am a beekeeper and soapmaker. We both read voraciously and write. I remind her to smell the roses, she reminds me to write my goals on paper — or at least describe the vision I see in my head.
Somehow, you seem to do both. I bow to you.
~HoneyLady
Oh your friend sounds like the perfect friend to have – you two can be the yin and the yang.
It’s funny, I was just talking to my Pilates instructor about your comment yesterday and remarking how my very-scheduled-life really allows me so much more freedom b/c I always know, at any given moment, what the tradeoffs of a choice are. For example, if I wanted to blow off work today, I know most exactly what I would be missing, giving up or need to make up. For me, it makes me feel so much more secure to have office time, reading mail time, meditation time etc. scheduled into my day/week even though it seems counter-intuitive, like it would take the fun and spontaneity away! =)
My garden … ah, just thinking about it makes my blood pressure go down by at least 8! I can’t wait to plant it, to eat 4 kinds of kale, to have never-ending cilantro and to walk up and pick fresh raspberries with my kids daily. Ahhhhh … the magic.
PS – One of my team leaders also is a beekeeper. I love the honey her bees make!
You are such an inspiration. I always enjoy your blog posts and tweets and they inspire me to try harder and strive to do better.
Aw, thank you Monica! It is so great to have such a fantastic community of soapers and DIY’ers to interact with and go through the ups and downs of life with. Thank you for your support!
I had to smile: pomegranates are one of the symbols used for Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. All those seeds are full of promise, like the year stretching ahead. It reminds me to fill the year with sweetness.
I’m also working on the same issue. When I blog for my business, I want people to hear MY voice–not an artificially bright, shiny version. They can watch TV commercials for that (does anyone still watch TV commercials?) Or look at a Pinterest board.
But how to strike that balance between letting people know who I am, what I stand for, why I do what I do, and TMI. That’s a tough one.
Oh I had no idea! Thank you for telling me that. I actually have another Pomegranate to peel tonight (hope springs eternal) with the kids and I’ll think of that beautiful way to say it: “full of promise, like the year stretching ahead.”
It’s interesting you’re struggling with the same thing I am – you put it so beautifully – striking a balance. It is difficult to figure out how to share, be authentic, be a leader and yet, still put my best foot forward knowing that there is power in being positive, forward-thinking and uplifting.
I really want the entire Soap Queen community to be about relationship, teaching, supporting, instructing and sharing and figuring out how to best do that, to portray that, is always a slowly evolving set of practices and thinking.
Love this… love you! <3
Right back atcha’! What you are doing for the Handmade Makers community with Lucky Break is incredible. You are one of my must-read blogs that I send out to people that email me wanting more business advice. Thank YOU for giving so freely of yourself to the DIY/Small Business community.