Being a female business owner certainly has its own set of challenges and rewards. Over the years, I’ve been insulted (“Of course you need more life insurance for your husband because he undoubtedly makes more than you”), stymied (six banks turned me down for a building loan before I found one that finally looked twice at me) and downright saddened (I’ve been propositioned more times than I can count).
One thing that helped me start and maintain a business over the years even with the sexism I experienced is that I had a set of parents that told me I could do ANYTHING! Can you picture your 17 year old high school daughter commuting 3 hours every Wednesday to take specialized criminology classes (on serial killers, no less) at the University of Washington? Can you imagine your 19 year old daughter coming to you and telling you she wanted to be a correctional officer? And after you’ve shepherded her through three years of college (summer school + heavy class load = finishing college in 3 years) and less than one year in her chosen corrections profession, she turns to you and says “I want to quit my job and sell SOAP!” As a parent, what would you do? I can’t imagine that it was easy for them but at each turn, they swallowed their horror and said, “How can we help?” Their loving attitude and their presumption of my competence (within limits), even when not yet in evidence, was a fantastic support team for for me to have and to springboard my dreams (however much they changed) off of.
So, when my Dad, growing tired of one too many stories of men treating me either as a blond airhead, or a play toy, or as someone that didn’t need to be taken seriously, presented me with this gift, as a family, we laughed and laughed and laughed. (And then of course, we tried to figure out how to start a business selling these. We decided that finding a steady supply of testicles might be difficult). These lovely specimens have a place of honor at my home to remind me at all times that I have a support team that loves me and thinks I can do anything, no matter what sex I am.
My Dad (a doctor) insists on leaving the identity of the “donor” a bit of a mystery to me, but I am pretty sure that one of his veterinarian friends and a large dog had something to do with their procurement. The lesson here? If you don’t have that family support team to surround yourself with, find people that DO support you, who cheer you on and who tell you that you CAN do anything that you set your mind to. Gather those people around you who are positive, uplifting and genuinely interested in your success because having your own built-in-cheering section is important to business and personal success.
PS – Wonder what LYF, LYB, LYA means? My Dad started writing this to me at an early age on all of my notes. It stands for “Loved you first. Loves you best. Love you always.” Awwww … I dare you to read that without an audible “Awwwww” or even tearing up.
LOVE it! Just great, must share 🙂 Liana.
OMG! Thank you for sharing! This couldn’t have come at a better time for me. It is still rough at there at times for women and it is always inspiring to see women who defy the naysayers. 🙂
Thank you for sharing your experience. I also have the support from my family and it’s really very important to have someone who will at least listen to your problems and give you “shelter from the storm” 🙂
Great post Anne-Marie! Thanks for sharing.
I love it! As a parent I hope that I have always tried to be that supportive. I know that I sure try, I am still hanging in there and cheering them on. Which I think is important no matter what age they are.
I just love this story for so many reason. But at the end I got a lump in my throat. It reminded me of my father (my biggest Cheerleader) who passed when I was in my 20’s. I believe he too would be cheering me on in this next adventure of my life. I know my mother thought it was a waste of money, until I showed her what I could do with soap. 😉
You just gotta be like my son’s favorite book when he was little. The little train that “I think I can”. It’s hard for some of us to find that support in a family sometimes. That is why I am so grateful for the support you get here. Which we have thanks to AM and who wonderful supportive parents. CHEERS!
Your the best AM
Mildred
Great post, Anne Marie. Most of us can totally relate to the treatment. Those of us who have good, positive support are so lucky to have it. It’s funny that your father created this trophy for you.
I smirked as I read your post and then–yes–teared up a bit at the end.
Making sure I let the people who surround me with love and positive vibes know that I appreciate all that they do for me.
I can relate. Super post!
Awww that is so sweet LYF …
Now I would love to what inspired the last straw for this post! LOL You are so full of it! Good for you AM!
Sorry about the misspelling above,:)) Typing way to fast..MOTIVATED..and thanks again..:)
Anne Marie i just wanted to tell you that after seeing you on yout tube and every search engine i have gained information from i keep seeing you:)))) You are an inspiration to me, a Army Brat and Now Army Wife, not to much longer because my hubsand is soon to retire finally aftet 15 almost 1 years, but thanks to you i am finishing my medical degree and then putting it on the shelf so that i can start my own buisness. The thought, the aspect of starting my own soap and natural product business is all to you, i thank you and i keep you in my prayers, so look out for Ashley Moore in the near soon Future:))) God Bless!!!!!!!!!!
What a sweet Dad. It’s always wonderful to have supportive people in your life.
Gotta love your Dad. Great post, A-M.
My first thought was “Is that what I think those are?” How absolutely funny and oh so true. Thanks for the smile this early morning…
My Dad always told me not to wait for a man to take care of me because I would wait a long time. He raised me to stand up for myself and yes, I have a pair too.
This is so sad and so funny!! Sadly, in spite of Gloria Steinem, we still have a long way to go!! Your parents are wonderful!! My daughter is almost 17 and I hope I keep my “horrors” inside as your parents were able to do and support her onward in any endeavors she may choose for herself.
We do have a long way to go but thankfully, things are so much better than they were in the past. =) I’m sure that you will do great with your daughter given how conscientious you are being with your desires to let her be herself.
Hi AM, great post, great Dad, and great gift! Sadly still very relevant. I still often revert to using David’s name on my business emails, as I am still often ignored when using my own. Can’t believe it is still the case in 2011.
Isn’t it amazing? I’m always surprised when people assume Norman, BB’s COO, runs the company OR that we’re married, as if he wouldn’t want to work here without some personal ties (as opposed to it being a kick*** job!) =)
If there was ever a perfect timing, it was this. You have no idea how much I needed to read this thing *right now*, (being in the ‘what am I doing’ mood all week).
Thanks so much for sharing and for inspiring as well. Give your wonderful dad a huge huge hug.
Warm regards from sunny Greece.
Greece! Thanks for stopping in =) I hope that your week goes better for you this week.
Well from a father of 4 daughters – I hope and pray that I have instilled that strength in them as well. They know that my Love, support, and strength is always there. Great story AM.
Aw sweet. I’m sure that your four daughters feel the same way about you as I do about my Dad =)
Thanks so much for sharing your stories AM, this is always something great to think about, just like “assume goodwill, it’s easier” (runs through my head all the time)
:0)
Funny, my staff reminds me of that “Assume Goodwill” post when I’m having a bad day =)
You really have the best parents ever! And good for you for always going for your dreams, no matter the obstacles!
Even when my dreams made no sense to anyone around me (correctional officer?!?), I definitely was a full-speed-ahead gal. Ha ha =)
I absolutely LOVE this and needed to read it (this week in particular). THANK YOU!!! Your dad is a sweetheart. 🙂
My Dad is a sweetheart – he’s a man of great depth and understanding and I’m so lucky to have him and my Mom. I hope next week goes better for you =)
Great story! Good lesson for all of us both as women (businesspersons) and as parents. Your parents are wonderful and you are blessed.
Thanks for sharing and inspiring all of us.
I am incredibly lucky and thankful for that leg up that I had in business from having their support and great attitude.
This is priceless. Thanks for sharing your story and an inspiring post!
Sue
Thank you, thank you for some positive thoughts. My parents do not support me, I have been brought up to believe that I am fat, ugly, stupid and useless.
Then my husband came along, picked up a wreck and turned me into a success at many things, including business. The message is move on until you find the support you need and deserve, you can be as good as anyone else!
Thank you for the inspirational post. I just launched my website today, and then had the “what am I doing” moment. But between my very supportive friends and your can do attitude, it gives me a lot of confidence that I too can be a successful business person.
We all have those ‘what am I doing’ moments =) It’s only natural! Push through it because you can do it – you really truly 100% can.
Awwwwww,sniff,sniff.(wink) :-))
Chokes me up if I’m in the right frame of mind for sure!
Love, love, love this post. You are an inspiration! xx
=) Thanks!
One of the things I have always appreciated about you is that you don’t just do your best, you also help the people around you do *their* best. And you wholeheartedly support other women in business.
As another woman who has run into considerable opposition in the business world (“are you sure you want to go into the computer industry? we’ve found that women usually prefer to work with people socially…”) I’d just like to say, thanks for passing it on. It sort of reminds me of that movie, Pay It Forward. 🙂
I wholeheartedly agree with syd that Anne-Marie inspires the people around her to be successful. What a wonderful gift she has. Her employees are fortunate to work for such a wonderful person.
I have worked for a wonderful woman over this last year. She also, is very encouraging and inspiring. It’s interesting, she relayed a comment from a friend of hers a while ago. He said, speaking about her 3 grown children, Gosh, 3 out of 3, you’re pretty lucky. He was referring to all 3 of her children being successful, in their jobs as well as them having chosen respectful, honorable spouses and also referring to their being good parents to their own children. I think her childrens success is in large part due to her and her husband being their “cheerleading team” and being very encouraging, as this is what I’ve experienced working for her. It’s amazing how successful you can be when you have someone who believes in you and who encourages you!
Thank you Anne-Marie for being who you are!!!! And sharing your thoughts, beliefs, ideas and so much more with all of us!!! You, indeed, are a true inspiration!!! I wish you all the best with continued success in your business and with your growing family.
Thanks for the love Sandy. It is so awesome to have such a great Soap Queen community to interact with. =)
Aw, thanks for the positive feedback. That totally makes my day. And, it’s always nice to hear from you. We miss working with you dreadfully! =)
Just one more reason that I think your dad is awesome. I am very jealous of your trophy, and I don’t care what that makes me sound like a she-woman man hater!
Oh my gosh, this is so awesome. Especially the “Loved you first. Loves you best. Love you always.” What great parents 🙂
I’m a very very lucky girl. =)
Wonderful post Anne-Marie, thanks so much for sharing and yes I did bust out with an “awwwww”!
I know right? He put that on a note (well, a deflated balloon that I had to blow up to see the words) under my pillow one night when I had snuck out of the house as a teenager. Boy, did I feel bad.
Anne-Marie,
Thanks for sharing and your parents sound amazing. This post reminded me of what a wonderful support network I have around me as well.
Michelle
My parents are great – super funny, smart and caring. And looking back, way more supportive than I ever realized! =)
Thanks for sharing the experience. Awesome and simple words to keep in mind and share. 😉
A support network is key for everything and anything you want to accomplish that’s big in life, IMO.
Haha, your Dad is awesome! What wonderful support your parents have been to you!
I am super lucky to have such a fun Dad that has a great sense of humor =)
Love this post! Thanks for the inspiration, A-M!
And thank **you** for reading =)