“I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.”
-Eleanor Roosevelt
How are your goals doing?
An idea not coupled with action will never get any bigger than the brain cell it occupied. ~Arnold Glasow
The Building Blocks of Your Reputation
My Father recently sent me a random page he found on the ‘net that amalgamated all the footprints I’ve left on the ‘net for the last 13 years. Scrolling through the pages was a bit like going through an old closet – there were some bad choices made, some tacky things said and some dubious colorful commentary. Overall though, I wasn’t displeased by the pages and pages of references (some going back to 1998!). Generally, they showed a positive, forward-thinking businesswoman who sometimes spoke with too much candor but had a clear purpose in life.
When I started Bramble Berry as a naive 20 year old, I never envisioned where the internet was going. I didn’t realize that there would be hundreds and thousands of online communities started and then shuttered with their archives alive for everyone and anyone to see. I didn’t think of my words being like handwriting on a fogged up window, disappearing until someone came along and blew.
My entire life is out there on the internet just waiting to be excavated. Now, I’m lucky. I’m self-employed and (knock on wood) hope to continue in this fashion for the rest of my life. I don’t have potential employers scouring the internet to find my one or two indiscretions. I’m happily married; I don’t have possible suitors checking me out online before a first date. But, what I do have is potential customers searching about my company, making a value judgment on if they want to do business with us.
Every little thing you say, on every arcane forum or every forgotten blog or every long-lost site, is out there, ripe for the reading for anyone with a little bit of time on their hands and a basic grasp of the Way Back Machine.
What are you saying right now? Are you leaving trails that you can be proud of? Are you living your life offline and online with integrity and commitment to your values? Are the words you’re writing today something that you would be proud of your kids reading in 20 years? Yes, be honest. Be authentic. But, always be mindful of your reputation because every track you leave online is building the foundation for your reputation.
What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas
You’ve heard that term right? “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”? I think it was even their official promotional line at one point. Sure, it’s a funny line. And it gives soon-to-be-marrieds the excuse to get liquored up, wild, happy and craaaaazeeee in Vegas where apparently, all bets are off (or on, depending on your preference).
The thing about life is that:
how you do anything is how you do everything.
How you do the little things is how you do the big things. If you’re dishonest in one area of your life, you’re dishonest in other areas. If you’re lazy about one thing, you’ll be lazy about another thing. If you can’t share your authentic feelings at work, you don’t share your authentic feelings at home either.
Little things matter. How you live every moment of your life matters. If there’s one area of your life where you’re embarrassed about, think about the characteristcs and traits that make that little embarrassing part possible. Where else in your life do those characteristics hold you back? What little changes did you vow to make in January of this year that haven’t happened? How can you get yourself back on track and make a simple course correction?
How did you do on the ‘Tell Me More‘ challenge? I’ve almost got it incorporated fully into my life without even thinking about it now. So, how about another challenge? For the next 30 days, pick one trait that doesn’t serve you and start making the steps to change it. Baby steps in the right direction lead to momentous change over time.
You Are Awesome
You are awesome, originally uploaded by valentinadesign.
I just bought a bunch of prints from this artist – all positive, happy sayings. I am going to frame them and put them up one by one in our hallway. They will look great in a row – and hopefully inspire everyone that walks by. If you have mental blocks you’d like to overcome (“I just can’t sell my products wholesale, I am too scared!”), replacing those negative thought patterns with a positive one (“I am easily walking into stores with samples and they love my products!“) takes frequent repetition, work and energy. These little sayings on my walls will help with my ‘repetition’ part.
Check out Valentina Ramos if you’re looking for affordable prints that inspire you every day.
But, I Can’t Do That!
Greetings happy SoapQueen team – I hope you’re having a great weekend. I know I am. It’s a rare weekend in Bellingham without a billion things scheduled. I’ve had the luxury of a great 90 minute ‘flow’ Power Vinyasa Yoga – Level II class (which was the opposite of relaxing), Farmer’s Market cupcakes (spiced apple with caramel buttercream frosting), lunch with a friend (at the incredible Old World Deli in Bellingham) and I made great progress on my book club book, “One Hundred Years of Solitude” by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. All in all, an excellent first day in a fantastic weekend.
As I was going about my incredibly luxurious day yesterday, I kept thinking about a lesson I learned at the Jack Canfield event last month. Jack asked us to partner up and then tell our partner about all the things that we can’t seem to get done in our lives.
“I can’t find enough time to get 8 hours of sleep”
“I can’t seem to devote time for my hobbies.”
“I can’t quit speeding on the freeway.”
Each partner had a minute to describe all of their ‘can’ts’. And then Jack said, “Now, put ‘won’t’ in place of can’t and repeat all those to your partner.”
“I WON’T find enough time to get 8 hours of sleep”
“I WON’T devote time for my hobbies.”
“I WON’T quit speeding on the freeway.”
Ouch.
Just changing that simple word gave each and every person in my group a sinking feeling in the pit of their stomach. Because, who controls the outcome of your situation? You do. If you’re not fully taking 100% responsibility for your situation, where you are at in life, how your life ebbs and flows around you, it’s true… you WON’T make the changes you need to. It’s not a ‘can’t’ anymore; it’s a ‘won’t.’
That lesson stuck with me. Now, every time I catch myself saying “I can’t,” I ask myself, “Is this a can’t or a won’t“. It has forced me to get more honest with myself and the areas in my life where I tend to cop out and not hold myself accountable.
Try exchanging those two words in your life; you’ll be surprised at what comes up.
Take 100% Responsibility
I recently attended a 1 day Jack Canfield seminar. Jack Canfield is the author of countless books (including the Chicken Soup for the Soul series) but my favorite book he has written is ‘The Success Principles’. Reading and doing all the exercises from that book is like a crash course MBA. When he came to Seattle, my entire Mastermind Business Group signed up for a table and spent a full day learning from Jack. He is an excellent speaker – humble, enigmatic and thought-provoking all in one – so spending from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. in a hotel conference room was not a hardship.
Erin Baker from Baker’s Breakfast Cookies with Jack
The first lesson he drilled into our heads was that we must take 100% responsibility for our lives. This means that when something goes wrong, instead of immediately blaming (“It’s Mary’s fault! If she had just finished writing up the description for Monkey Love on Friday, we could have had that fragrance up in time for the weekend!”), we should stop, take a deep breath and ask “What was my part in this? How could I have changed things?“
Jack taught us the following formula:
E + R = O
where E is Event, R is Response and O is Outcome.
Event + Response = Outcome
Simply put, every outcome we have in our life can be controlled by our response to the initial event.
Event: You present your products to a store, only to be turned down.
Response: You say “Thanks” and walk away.
Outcome: You have no wholesale account.
Event: You present your products to a store, only to be turned down.
Response: You say “Thank you. Under what circumstances would you consider adding my line?”
Outcome: The manager tells you “Well, you don’t have any fragrances I like. If you had fragrances I liked, I’d add the line.” You rework your fragrances and add an account.
Quoting directly from Jack Canfield:
The truth is…when confronted with a negative event, successful people look for ways to transform that negative into an opportunity for achievement and greater success.
They simply respond differently.
Think about almost every negative thing in your life. What is your part in the situation? How can you change your internal dialog to constantly say “I accept responsibility for this situation. What action steps can I take now to prevent this same outcome in the future?” After all, don’t we all want to lead lives of distinction with boundless joy, unbridled optimism and endless resources? Taking responsibility and recognizing that we can change each and every situation is the first step.
Rules for a Turnaround
Last week, I attended a talk put on by Western Washington University Business Forum. The guest speaker was a superstar CEO, William S. Ayer, the leader in charge of Alaska Airlines and Horizon Air. And, he was a superstar speaker. His message was spot-on and his delivery was engaging. I took detailed notes so I could share them with you.
After 9/11, there was a lot of changes that Alaska needed to make in order to be a profitable and Mr. Ayer had to be the one to lead the charge. He told the audience that initially, he didn’t get much feedback that the changes he was making was right. The advice he gave for managing change was practical, “Hang in there! It’s easy to defend the status quo. We are always in a state of change and the leaders who are going to thrive are the leaders that can change.” He said that Alaska Airlines was “still in transformation. Change is a core skill at a company like Alaska.” They have something to be proud about with their 10,000 employee company – six straight years of profitability. (Can I get a woot woot!?)
To create transformational change within your organization, he shared the following ‘rules’:
1. Get the right people on the bus. Make sure that your team is all the best and remember that the tone at the top (the leaders, especially the CEO) is important.
2. Create a sense of urgency. At Alaska, they had $200million of losses in 2 years. This created a natural sense of urgency. Figure out who your opinion leaders are and make sure they are on board with you.
3. Focus on one or two big ideas. Identify those two big ideas and then design metrics around them so you can measure them and have accountability for success.
4. What you measure gets done!
5. Be clear about goals. Everybody wants to win. Give them a roadmap to do so.
6. Be totally and completely customer focused. The customer decides on how successful a business is. Treat them right.
7. Don’t confuse being popular with doing the right thing.8. Develop win-win partnerships.
He ended with his common sense philosophy on business management:
Don’t buy things you can’t afford.
Don’t borrow money you can’t pay back.
Don’t do deals you can’t understand.
If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
Money Wi$e Honorable Mentions
Yesterday, I announced the winner of the Money Wi$e contest. It was a totally random contest so I didn’t get to play favorites with the answers. I had asked participants to leave a comment on the blog and share their best money saving tips (for our current eh hem, challenging economic situation). There were so many great money saving tips that I had to share a couple of my favorites…
Denette: Budgeting and money management has been a topic on my mind a lot lately and was so excited to see your post about it!! Here are a few tips that have really helped me:
1 – I will echo a few others here and suggest making your own meals including lunch for work. When my husband was in grad school we went 9 months without eating out! This was difficult in the beginning with our “date nights” but once a week I made a special dinner and ate by candlelight. It was really fun to try new cooking techniques and it was quite romantic to boot! Taking the time to develop my skills in cooking/baking not only helped my family during a financial crunch time, I also have these skills that I can teach to my children to help prepare them for the future and help them become more self-sufficient!
2 – Pay yourself first! When pay day rolls around, we take 10% of our net pay and split it into 2 different savings accounts. Two-thirds of that amount goes into one savings account that we don’t dip into unless it is an emergency or until we have enough saved up for our large purchase we are saving up for (right now that would be a down payment on a house!), and one-third of the amount goes into a second savings account that we use for unexpected or less often purchases like car repairs. Most people don’t need to split them up, but this helps us out because we can see the progress we are making on saving up for our home while we still have money set aside that we can use for other purchases.
3 – Save your change! It is a rare occasion that I pay in cash, so I am talking about saving your change from your debit card/checking account. Now, some banks will do this for you, but mine doesn’t so I keep track of it on my own. I have actually been doing this for about 10 years now and it is crazy how fast it all adds up! What I do is I document in my checkbook registry the purchase I made and then in the balance column I put down the amount I spent rounded up to the nearest dollar and then I write down the difference in the deposit column. I write my whole registry in pen and the change in pencil so I can keep it strait. For example: I just paid my cell phone bill which was $56.45, so in the balance column I deduct $57.00 from my balance and I added 55 cents to my running total of change! Over the past month I have saved up almost $17 just in change! Every six months we take the saved up change and make an extra payment towards our debt. If you don’t have any debt you could use that change to treat yourself to something nice like a vacation or extra holiday/birthday money! My parents have been doing this for years and have used this money to build a new deck, take a trip to Europe, and just recently bought two new wave runners!
Financial freedom has really been on my mind a lot lately and I loved reading all the fantastic advice and comments, a few of which I will be implementing into my routine so thanks everyone!
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Donna Maria Coles Johnson: Use coupons and cash.
Coupons. Contrary to popular belief, there are coupons out there for healthful food items. You just have to keep an eye out for them. Sometimes, grocers have coupon stickers on items that offer discounts on the spot. For example, yesterday, I purchased two quarts of Organic Valley Farms milk. Each container had a .75¢ coupon stuck to it. The regular price of each was $2.50. Since it was triple coupon weekend at the store, I paid 50¢ for $5.00 worth of organic milk! That’s $4.50 more in my pocket, without even trying — just being on the lookout for the bargain. As you shop, keep an eye out for opportunities to use coupons. If you’re more industrious, clip them in the Sunday paper and in inserts that come in the mail. By clipping coupons, I save hundreds of dollars a year!
Cash. Another tip is to use cash for non-business purchases. Forget using credit cards — we ditched ours years ago and are debt free, except for the mortgage. (No car payments either.)
When I say use cash, I don’t mean a debit card either. I mean green dollar bills. You’ll be amazed at how many more of them you will hold onto if they actually have to slip through your fingers with each purchase. It’s easy to swipe a card, and when we do, it doesn’t feel like we are spending that much, when we really are. But when you have to actually count out the dollar bills, you’ll think twice before putting them in someone else’s hands!
I withdraw a certain amount of money from our checking account each Sunday or Monday. I use it for all of that week’s home-related purchases — food, toiletries, personal items, clothing — everything except home repairs and maintenance. I always take out less than I think I’ll need to really challenge myself. I am rarely out of cash at the end of the week, and I have not even touched the ATM. I hold onto a lot of money this way.
There are only 4 things you can do with money: spend it, save it, invest it or donate it. Because I spend with coupons and cash, I have more left to save, invest and donate!!
Thanks for the opportunity to share, and I hope these tips are helpful. dM
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Jody Bergsma: Have 10% automatically taken out of your paycheck and placed in a savings account…It really adds up! Take a to go mug full of coffee in the morning and avoid the “Latte” habit…4.00 day times 360=$1440!!! each year!
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Seek to Serve
I listened to a great audio CD on the way to work this morning – an interview with Wayne Dyer by the publisher of Success Magazine. Aside: if you don’t subscribe to Success Magazine and you’re a small business owner, you should. It’s chock full of business advice, interviews with inspirational leaders and practical day-to-day advice on how to stay positive, focused and goal-oriented in good times and bad.
In the interview, Mr. Dyer (author of ‘Excuses Begone’ and other self-help or inspirational books) exhorted his listeners to ask what you can do for others – rather than constantly looking around to see what others can do for you. In the ‘like begets like‘ way of thinking, Mr. Dyer said that if you’re constantly asking the universe to give you more, more, more, the universe looks at you and asks for more, more, more.
In business, this attitude doesn’t need to be about giving everything away. Rather, it’s just a simple mind shift of “How will this help my customer?” when you’re adding new products, asking “How can this help my community?” when you’re deciding where to go to lunch or asking “How can this benefit my staff?” when thinking of employee policy changes.
Try it when you’re making decisions today. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the difference this subtle shift in perspective makes.
On Dealing with Disappointment
Waiting in the airport hoping to catch an early flight back home and I’m thinking about how my meeting didn’t go quite as I had hoped. But I took away so much positive from it and already have my awesome action plan for improving the next meeting. I realized that I am seeing the optimistic side right off the bat because I’ve trained myself to have that point of view. So, I thought I’d write a quick post before my flight about how I deal with disappointment and set-backs. Like all of my ‘experience-sharing’ posts, take it all with a grain of salt and feel free to share your experiences too!
There’s a reason clichés are …. cliché. There are many experiences that are universal. Yes, I’ve watched a pot not boil. I too have counted my chickens before they hatched and had my back against a wall because I bet my bottom dollar barking up the wrong tree.
And, the ‘When God closes a door, he opens a window’ characterization is equally true.
When you are in business, there are often doors closed, shut and slammed in your face. And sometimes, it’s hard to see the window at first. Here are my favorite tips for recovering when you are disappointed in a business situation:
1. Have a pity party. Acknowledge you are disappointed. Your feelings ARE justified. You just had your favorite store say ‘No’/(insert your experience here). Wallow. FOR ONE DAY. No more than that. Another pithy yet true saying Bramble Berry’s business coach says is “Celebrate your successes for one day. Mourn your losses for one day. After one day, move on.”
2. Call your trusted friends and advisors. Talk it out. Tell them about the experience. If you’re on Day One, you can wallow and whine about how unfair it all is. Good friends are awesome for this. They’re on your side no matter what. But, if you’re not still on Day One, suck it up and start to problem solve with them.
3. Action. So you didn’t land the sale/get into the juried craft show/get product placement in a big magazine; that’s okay. And what’s your plan to change it and make it better next time? Rip that scab wide open and Monday morning quarterback. What went wrong? If there is someone to ask, be sure to ask your account rep/media contact/decision maker why you didn’t make the sale or why you didn’t get product placement rather than speculating. Then, move into planning: what is the action plan to fixing it next time? WRITE IT DOWN. Action plans are useless if you don’t write them down and commit to being accountable.
4. Work off that stress and tension. Like the song says, “move it move it.” When you work out, you give your body something to do while your brain can zone out and process without you constantly second guessing yourself (you already did that, remember?). Physical activity is a great stress relief no matter if it’s walking, running or weight lifting. Just do something to get yourself out of your house/office and in a different situation. Move your body. Let your brain wander as your limbs work out your stress and dismay.
5. Fake it ’til ya’ make it. Just like the ‘Shopping is Psychological’ post, what is the way you can reframe this in your head?
- You didn’t get the account: “Wow, I didn’t walk out with a Purchase Order but I sure am closer to one the next time!”
- You were promised placement in magazine/tv and it didn’t happen: “We didn’t get placed this time but I am so excited that I have this contact for next time.”
- You didn’t get into a juried show: “Well, that’s okay. They have my stuff for next year and man, look at the cute designs I thought up just for the show. They will be great on Etsy/my own site/Artfire/another craftshow/to send to potential wholesale accounts”
There will be another chance. Just think how much you learned. Work on those takeaways. And, be sure to look out for that window. It will open up. I promise.
Nellie Cashman Award Luncheon
Greetings from Seattle! I’m down here for the Nellie Cashman Awards Luncheon, meeting with the genius Melody from CraveParty and then getting interviewed by the ‘Chat with Women‘ radio show later today. It’s a jam packed day.
I’m honored to be a finalist for the Nellie Cashman Award. The Nellie Cashman award recognizes and honors women business owners who have enhanced the status of women entrepreneurs through their vision, perseverance and fearless, relentless leadership in business and the community. There are five nominees (pictured above) and we’re already getting nervous for the speeches we need to give at the awards gala. Supposedly, there will be an audience of 350 people (eek!) and we each get 5 minutes to talk (double eek – that’s a long time!).
Right now, I’m waiting to meet with Melody from CraveParty. She is a phenomonal businesswoman; a definite force. I’m excited to hear what she’s been up to. Last time we met, we shared social media strategies and the importance of building supportive community for women owned businesses.
The Chat with Women radio show later today is for all five Nellie finalists. We’re going to be discussion the following questions:
1. Tell us about your company?
2. What was the reason you started your own business?
3. What is your secret to success?
4. What has been your biggest challenge and how did you solve it?
5. If a women from Women Business Owners called you and ask you what was your most important lesson – what would it be?
It’s going to be a lot of talking in one fast hour! And in case you’re wondering, there is no ‘secret’ to success. It’s a combo of luck, being in the right place at the right time, a great support network and loads of hard work. I have a big announcement to share with you later tonight and I can’t to get home and tell you about it.
First Things First
My Mastermind Group in Bellingham is reading the Steven Covey book, ‘First Things First.’ One of my book clubs read Covey’s ‘7 Habits’ book and this was the perfect follow up. The book is a classic for a reason – it’s got some great recommendations and advice for getting your life under control. This is a great book for me personally to read because I struggle with my schedule and getting everything done.
In the book, Covey discusses the concept of the Four Quadrants. He recommends trying to spend the bulk of your time in Quadrant II, or the ‘important, not urgent’ cateogry. Covey makes the case that many people spend all of their time putting out daily fires and never truly work on things that move them towards their ultimate life vision. Daily fires are (a) a waste of time and (b) leads to something he dubs ‘urgency addiction.’ This is when you literally become addicted to the adrenalin rush that happens when you solve an emergency. This happens more and more when you over promise, when you can’t say no, when you over schedule yourself or when yousimply haven’t taken the time to truly thing through your week and find yourself surprised when things come up. Curious if you’re addicted to urgency? You should get the Covey book to take his full quiz or there is a small one here that might give you a window into your answer.
When you live your life only in Quadrant 1 or 3, you never feel in control and never feel like you’re done with anything. But, if you plan your schedule around completing things that are truly important and not urgent, it can actually reduce the time you spend in other quadrants.
The key is that our daily tasks and priorities need to be consistent with our lifelong goals and vision. The way to do this by determining your vision for your life and following it up with good planning. Covey literally has you write down every single task that you need to do, rank them and then do them in order of importance. The main thing is to not get bogged down with the tiny details and instead, take a bird’s eye view of your entire week and plan your week around the things that really matter to you. Covey recommends taking 1 hour every week to literally plan your entire week out, rather than being reactive all week. In this system, you drive your schedule – your schedule shouldn’t drive you.
I’m experimenting with one of the Covey scheduler’s that is fully online – PlanPlusOnline and really liking it. But, I’m a go-go-gadget kind of gal so anything that is high tech, I’m prone to like. This is basically my simple notebook online and on steroids. The other gals in my Mastermind Group have used more of the weekly, paper based planner like you can find here. No matter which method you use, it is liberating to plan your life around your big ‘rocks’ (working out, time with family) rather than just trying to schedule task, after task, after task and never getting it all done.
And I Like my Cognitive Function
A study published in June in the journal Neurology found that older people who exercise at least once a week are 30% more likely to maintain cognitive function than those who exercise less.