Greetings happy SoapQueen team – I hope you’re having a great weekend. I know I am. It’s a rare weekend in Bellingham without a billion things scheduled. I’ve had the luxury of a great 90 minute ‘flow’ Power Vinyasa Yoga – Level II class (which was the opposite of relaxing), Farmer’s Market cupcakes (spiced apple with caramel buttercream frosting), lunch with a friend (at the incredible Old World Deli in Bellingham) and I made great progress on my book club book, “One Hundred Years of Solitude” by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. All in all, an excellent first day in a fantastic weekend.
As I was going about my incredibly luxurious day yesterday, I kept thinking about a lesson I learned at the Jack Canfield event last month. Jack asked us to partner up and then tell our partner about all the things that we can’t seem to get done in our lives.
“I can’t find enough time to get 8 hours of sleep”
“I can’t seem to devote time for my hobbies.”
“I can’t quit speeding on the freeway.”
Each partner had a minute to describe all of their ‘can’ts’. And then Jack said, “Now, put ‘won’t’ in place of can’t and repeat all those to your partner.”
“I WON’T find enough time to get 8 hours of sleep”
“I WON’T devote time for my hobbies.”
“I WON’T quit speeding on the freeway.”
Ouch.
Just changing that simple word gave each and every person in my group a sinking feeling in the pit of their stomach. Because, who controls the outcome of your situation? You do. If you’re not fully taking 100% responsibility for your situation, where you are at in life, how your life ebbs and flows around you, it’s true… you WON’T make the changes you need to. It’s not a ‘can’t’ anymore; it’s a ‘won’t.’
That lesson stuck with me. Now, every time I catch myself saying “I can’t,” I ask myself, “Is this a can’t or a won’t“. It has forced me to get more honest with myself and the areas in my life where I tend to cop out and not hold myself accountable.
Try exchanging those two words in your life; you’ll be surprised at what comes up.
