Greetings happy SoapQueen team – I hope you’re having a great weekend. I know I am. It’s a rare weekend in Bellingham without a billion things scheduled. I’ve had the luxury of a great 90 minute ‘flow’ Power Vinyasa Yoga – Level II class (which was the opposite of relaxing), Farmer’s Market cupcakes (spiced apple with caramel buttercream frosting), lunch with a friend (at the incredible Old World Deli in Bellingham) and I made great progress on my book club book, “One Hundred Years of Solitude” by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. All in all, an excellent first day in a fantastic weekend.
As I was going about my incredibly luxurious day yesterday, I kept thinking about a lesson I learned at the Jack Canfield event last month. Jack asked us to partner up and then tell our partner about all the things that we can’t seem to get done in our lives.
“I can’t find enough time to get 8 hours of sleep”
“I can’t seem to devote time for my hobbies.”
“I can’t quit speeding on the freeway.”
Each partner had a minute to describe all of their ‘can’ts’. And then Jack said, “Now, put ‘won’t’ in place of can’t and repeat all those to your partner.”
“I WON’T find enough time to get 8 hours of sleep”
“I WON’T devote time for my hobbies.”
“I WON’T quit speeding on the freeway.”
Ouch.
Just changing that simple word gave each and every person in my group a sinking feeling in the pit of their stomach. Because, who controls the outcome of your situation? You do. If you’re not fully taking 100% responsibility for your situation, where you are at in life, how your life ebbs and flows around you, it’s true… you WON’T make the changes you need to. It’s not a ‘can’t’ anymore; it’s a ‘won’t.’
That lesson stuck with me. Now, every time I catch myself saying “I can’t,” I ask myself, “Is this a can’t or a won’t“. It has forced me to get more honest with myself and the areas in my life where I tend to cop out and not hold myself accountable.
Try exchanging those two words in your life; you’ll be surprised at what comes up.
This is so true!!!
Thank you for always sharing! I hope you enjoy your book, there is really something about reading in a book in its original language. Also, can I suggest for you to read “Como Agua Para Chocolate”? Magical Realism!
When I quote you and your business savy, people ask, “She is your business professor, no?”
I say, “The Soapqueen is someone that motivates, inspires and shares the knowledge of everything that is soap, business and a beautiful life.”
I love everything in your blog, Bramble Berry & Teachsoap! You have changed the way companies interact with customers and it has been amazing to watch.
Very powerful. Really has me thinking. Fits right in with some things I am addressing in my life right now. Thank you so much!
I love to share what I’m learning with the Soap Queen community. After all, one good deed deserves another, right? =)
Wow! That’s flattering. Yes, please repost on your blog with a short little post script with the links back to BB/Soapqueen; cool? “Anne-Marie Faiola is the founder of http://www.brambleberry.com and blogger behind http://www.soapqueen.com She loves to help small businesses all over the world reach their highest potential.”
I have heard INCREDIBLE things about Landmark and know that one of these days, I will definitely try one of their seminars. I’ve also heard the bad’ness of saying ‘I’ll Try’ or ‘I should’ rather than ‘I will.’
Words of wisdom that I’ll be sharing with the kids too! 🙂
Totally simple – and it blew me away. When I had to say “I WON’T do XyZ”, I had such a sick sinking feeling inside myself. It was embarrassing and I don’t want to feel that way again.
I would read the Jack Canfield “The Success Principles” book on how to organize a Mastermind Group and then start your own. That’s what we did and it works awesome! It is so useful for business peer to peer learning.
Great advice! Thanks for sharing.
Definitely something to ponder and so very true.
Great food for thought! That Jack Canfield has such good ideas. Thanks for sharing.
Anne Marie, I love this soo much, can I repost this on my blog? I would like to motivate other with your insight. Shannon http://www.cascobaysoap.blogspot.com
Wow what a productive weekend! I feel like doing a headstand now! This is great you shared. I took a weekend intensive course with the Landmark Education Forum about 8 yrs ago, and every word has stuck with me. He stressed the detrimental effect of saying ‘I’ll try”. As Master Yoda says, “Do or do not. There is no try.”
So true. I used to be a ‘can’t’ person but I don’t allow myself to get away with that anymore! Taking full responsibility for your actions is the key.
I really like this! This is so simple yet powerful! Thanks for sharing. ET
Excellent point! Thanks you for another Aha! moment AM 🙂 I was also wondering how can I join a Mastermind Business Group?
Great blog entry. I just did that – changed my can’t to won’t – Wow! Time to get off the internet and get something done! Thanks.
Thanks for the post Anne Marie. Very inspiring, as usual. This is a great tool, thank you!
Shannon
http://www.cascobaysoap.blogspot.com
Absolutely correct! In the immortal words of Yoda, “Do or do not do.. There is no try” (My words to live by)