I recently attended a 1 day Jack Canfield seminar. Jack Canfield is the author of countless books (including the Chicken Soup for the Soul series) but my favorite book he has written is ‘The Success Principles’. Reading and doing all the exercises from that book is like a crash course MBA. When he came to Seattle, my entire Mastermind Business Group signed up for a table and spent a full day learning from Jack. He is an excellent speaker – humble, enigmatic and thought-provoking all in one – so spending from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. in a hotel conference room was not a hardship.
The first lesson he drilled into our heads was that we must take 100% responsibility for our lives. This means that when something goes wrong, instead of immediately blaming (“It’s Mary’s fault! If she had just finished writing up the description for Monkey Love on Friday, we could have had that fragrance up in time for the weekend!”), we should stop, take a deep breath and ask “What was my part in this? How could I have changed things?“
Jack taught us the following formula:
where E is Event, R is Response and O is Outcome.
Simply put, every outcome we have in our life can be controlled by our response to the initial event.
Event: You present your products to a store, only to be turned down.
Response: You say “Thanks” and walk away.
Outcome: You have no wholesale account.
Event: You present your products to a store, only to be turned down.
Response: You say “Thank you. Under what circumstances would you consider adding my line?”
Outcome: The manager tells you “Well, you don’t have any fragrances I like. If you had fragrances I liked, I’d add the line.” You rework your fragrances and add an account.
Quoting directly from Jack Canfield:
The truth is…when confronted with a negative event, successful people look for ways to transform that negative into an opportunity for achievement and greater success.
They simply respond differently.
Think about almost every negative thing in your life. What is your part in the situation? How can you change your internal dialog to constantly say “I accept responsibility for this situation. What action steps can I take now to prevent this same outcome in the future?” After all, don’t we all want to lead lives of distinction with boundless joy, unbridled optimism and endless resources? Taking responsibility and recognizing that we can change each and every situation is the first step.
